


Only Lonely When

by stardropdream



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 10:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/697116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardropdream/pseuds/stardropdream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She wonders if this is what natural beings, those who weren't 'created', felt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Lonely When

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ June 6, 2011.

“Do you ever think maybe it’s wrong?” Xing Huo asks, before she can stop herself. She keeps her gaze level, expression neutral, betraying nothing. The thought has never occurred to her before, until now.   
  
Kyle looks up from where he’s sitting, cleaning his glasses with meticulous care. He frowns at her, and she meets his gaze.   
  
“What?” he asks, when he realizes she is not elaborating.   
  
She would shrug, but instead she stays still. One shoulder shifts slightly. “What we’re doing. What we are.”   
  
His expression doesn’t change right away, but soon enough he’s smiling that smile of his, the kind she thinks she probably dislikes but can’t really express why she does, or why she even can dislike it.   
  
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he says in that chastising, dismissive way of his.   
  
In the distance, beyond hallways and rooms, she hears herself being called. She stands, and retreats. She looks over her shoulder towards Kyle, who is still cleaning his glasses and not looking at her anymore.   
  
Her gaze lingers for one moment before she walks through the door.   
  
  
\---  
  
  
She watches him bandage up the wounds he got from the last mission. He’s frowning now, and it pulls his face down in an unattractive way. She steps nearer to him, and he looks up, unsurprised to see her though she isn’t sure if he’d sensed her presence until just then.   
  
“What?” he asks, and sounds a bit crasser than he probably meant to.   
  
She watches him. His hair is disheveled, and his glasses look as if they were nearly snapped in two.   
  
“Are you well?” she asks, and isn’t sure why it is she is asking.  
  
He laughs, derisive and sarcastic. “I’m a _doctor_ , isn’t it? I can take care of myself.”   
  
She keeps her expression neutral, thinks it’d be easier for him to wrap his hand up if he had someone else helping him.   
  
Her hands twitch by her sides.  
  
She turns away, though, and starts walking away. “He’ll want to see you, once you’re done.”  
  
  
\---  
  
  
He’s beaten badly, and scowls now. The attempt to smile at her is gone now. He no longer bothers.   
  
She sits down beside him and his scowl deepens.   
  
“What? Does he want to ‘speak’ to me again?” he says with a small sneer.   
  
She shakes her head. She takes the bandages from his hand.   
  
His eyes narrow suspiciously.   
  
“I do think it’s wrong,” she says, as if there hasn’t been a lull in the conversation, a span of weeks (months?) since she last asked him the question.   
  
He seems to know what she’s talking about, though. He snorts. He turns his face away and does not protest as she starts wrapping his bandages.   
  
“We weren’t created to think,” he says, dismissively.   
  
“Or feel,” she concludes, studying the bruises and lacerations scarred over his arms. They _will_ scar, she thinks.   
  
“Hn,” he grunts, not really agreement or disagreement.   
  
“It won’t last,” she says, quietly, most to herself, but she sees out of the corner of her eye the way his head tilts slightly towards her, curious.  
  
“Don’t let him hear you say things like that,” he says. Not quite warning, but not quite dismissal either.   
  
She knows it’s only a matter of time before “he” does figure it out, but until then, her fingers move carefully over Kyle’s arm, wrapping the bandages.   
  
  
\---  
  
  
She watches the Syaoran flex his fingers, a slight twitch in his forced sleep.   
  
She stares up at the slumbering face, feels the stirring in her chest.   
  
It’s only a matter of time, she thinks.   
  
  
\---  
  
  
“Where are you going?” Kyle demands when he sees her walking briskly towards the sleeping boy’s chamber.   
  
She looks at him. “The dream must end.”   
  
He knows what she’s speaking of. She can see the spark in his eye.   
  
“He’ll kill you.”  
  
“Yes,” she agrees. She doesn’t think she’s afraid of it, but she’s not sure.   
  
“You’re a fool,” he says, bitter, scowling, dismissive again. He turns his face away. She watches him for a moment.  
  
She thinks that if she had proper control of her feelings and her thoughts, she would go back to him, draw him close, and kiss him. She thinks that’s what a woman in love would want to do. But she isn’t sure, and there isn’t much time for that. She wonders if natural beings, those who were not created, had such thoughts just like that.   
  
She takes a step back and turns her face away and walks.   
  
She can feel his eyes on her, watching her go. But he does not stop her.


End file.
